Tuesday, February 07, 2006

In which I make an ass of myself at the Gap.

So I've been on a little clothing-buying spree lately, thanks to the Gap's debut of its new tall clothes--I know, I know, short people: it's hard for you too. But YOU CAN TAKE YOUR HEMS UP. I cannot magically add fabric where there is none. So, sweatshops shmeatshops: I've been buying a lot of stuff at the Gap.

The other day, the UPS man showed up with my new Curvy Flare Double Button Cords (hi, Curvy Flare fit! Love you!) but, to my dismay, they had obviously been returned-they were squished up inside already-ripped packaging, and, horrors, had been EMBROIDERED on. As in, somebody had started a half-assed embroidery project on the back pockets, got tired of it, and returned the pants. See?

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So today, since I don't teach, I marched over to the Gap in the mall (and don't get me started about how I have to order my clothes online, like some circus sideshow freak, rather than just buying them in the store in the first place, like normal people are allowed to do), plunked the pants down on the counter, and ranted about customer service and quality control and blah dee blah. To which the man behind the counter calmly replied, "Actually, they just come like that."


But I ask you. First, does that embroidery look remotely professional, or like something you would want adorning your ass? And second, is there even one tiny word about back-pocket embroidery in the description?

I'm heading off to tackle that shit with my seam ripper.

Oh, and Lady Eleanor? She's blocking.


Blogger Lauren said...

For totally straight-leg pants, I get that longer is better. But if a short person orders a "curvy flare" pant in hopes of hemming it to a good length, she'll likely end up with ridiculous-looking tapered pants, or at least certainly not flared (although Gap has the Ankle size, which fits me perfectly, although it's a really dumb name for Short).

2/07/2006 4:41 PM  
Blogger Dana said...

OK, as a fellow tall-bie with a 34" inseam, who frequently orders by mail (Old Navy) I am excited to know there's another option for me. Thanks for the warning on the pocket art though, I also may have thought it strange!!

P.S. I updated my blog re: my sock pal, if you get a sec!

2/07/2006 4:47 PM  
Anonymous Sydney said...

I totally don't get silly embellishments on pants. Very few actually look good, and how embarrassing would it be to see someone wearing the same Gap pants and realize it because you've both got crazy crap embroidered on your ass? Give me nice, simple jeans in an even wash (none of this whiskering on the thighs business) any day.

If only it were that easy. Like Lauren, I'm short and a bit curvy, and I can't buy jeans to save my life. And getting jeans tailored? Not so cool. There's nothing more depressing than finding a pair of jeans that actually fits my ass, spending an ungodly amount on them and then having to pay someone to take them up, leaving me with goofy looking hems. Good luck with the seam ripper.

2/07/2006 5:17 PM  
Blogger amandamonkey said...

It *is* a completely weird feature. That designer must've been smoking something veryvery bad.

Don't worry, I make an ass out of myself at The Gap regularly. I seem to do it more at A&F, though. Something about that place just brings out the worst in me....

2/07/2006 5:39 PM  
Blogger cmeknit said...

ok, that's just crazy. Seriously. It looks like crap...seam rip away!

2/07/2006 6:24 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

Curvy Flares are my favorite. I got the cords in the fall and they didn't have any weird embroidery. They were on sale too. I have freakishly long legs for a person who is only 5'8" and I'm thrilled that so many stores now have long inseams for women even if you have to shop online to get them. Why is it that both J.Crew and Eddie Bauer have the short pants in their stores, but not the talls? What's up with that?

2/07/2006 11:54 PM  
Blogger Olga said...

That post was too freakin' hee-larious! ahhahahahahaha!

2/08/2006 3:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh, I'm excited to see Eleanor!

I always want to try the curvy fit when I go to the Gap, but they never seem to have it in my size. The curvy fit pants they are purposely eluding me.

2/08/2006 9:27 AM  
Blogger Danielle said...

How rude! If you're going to embroider crap on a pair of otherwise lovely pants, and then not stock them in the stores, at least have the decency to tell buyers about it or show them a photo!!!

2/08/2006 10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is some truely sucky embroidery. Why would GAP go through the bother? I would have thought the same thing.

I like curvy fit too. I don't envy you shopping online - sounds like a nightmare. I, according to the fashion industry, have the oddest body on earth. I'm really not that strange, I just have muscular legs. I have to try everything on.

I like to make an arse of myself in shoe stores when they don't have my size and try to push the ugly footwear at me instead.

2/08/2006 2:01 PM  
Anonymous Cordelia said...

Um. That's the ugliest "detailing" ever.

I'm looking forward to seeing L.E. too. :-)

2/08/2006 2:24 PM  
Blogger KnittenKnots said...

OMG - I am laughing my ass off!! I was totally buying that some jerk had started a crap embroidery project and then returned the pants. Why in the world would GAP do that to those cute pants? Oh well, at least you can rip it out.

2/08/2006 4:01 PM  
Blogger MeBeth said...

The Gap's lack of embroidery disclosure with respect to those pants is truly shocking. The decision to wear, or not wear, embroidery, particularly faux homemade-looking embroidery, is not one to be made lightly, and the unsuspecting pants purchaser should be informed, and thus have the opportunity to consent to, the wearing of such embroidery prior to the purchase of any garment upon which said embroidery is present.

(You can take the girl out of the law firm, but...)

2/09/2006 9:47 AM  
Blogger Carola said...

Freaky - and very funny story! Not surprising that really somebody had returned those trousers in the first place (judging from the ripped packaging). Good luck with the re-seeming, because apart from the first-grades-sewing-class embroidery attempt the trousers do look really nice.

2/09/2006 10:47 AM  
Anonymous vim said...

Okay so i'm not siding with Gap Employee of the Month, but I saw those pants in Gap on Monday night and I wish I would have known you were ordering them. Because I would have said, "Hmmm. I wouldn't have thought you would have liked that wonky embroidery." In fact, I started laughing WAY before I reached the reveal part of the post...because...I knew right as soon as you said Horrors. Yes, they had been embroidered on. By the very same sweatshop workers you had previously reminded yourself to forget about. And the even funnier thing is--though not funnier than you reaming a Gapbot that it literally is a half assed embroidery job. Ha!!

All said, I'm sorry you had that experience...but it is very amusing for the rest of us, and therefore you can thank the Gap for its role in a post well done.

2/09/2006 6:32 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

that was an awesome entry. heh heh. i agree - the embroidery looks like crap. get rippin', girl!

2/12/2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger Hippy Mama said...

I guess that's what mean by "back patch pockets" but I agree that's just lame.


2/16/2006 4:43 PM  

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